I got chris browned last night
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize