We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
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Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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