we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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