P.S. I can't hear my feet
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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