I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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