Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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