i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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