I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There's always time for handjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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