It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
you had me at cake vodka
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
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