What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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