i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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