Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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