Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize