um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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