Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize