i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize