Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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