I'm jealous of your bromance
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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