I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize