the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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