I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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