is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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