why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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