So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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