Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
