i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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