her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize