So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want nice things and good sex
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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