I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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