i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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