I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize