Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize