okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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