Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize