You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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