Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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