party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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