i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize