So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
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No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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