dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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