Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
