i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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