Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize