I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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