I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize