she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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