Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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