I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize