Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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