why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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